the bogeyman...or woman

big bad

Once a month I am haunted in my dreams. It always happens in the days just before or just after my period starts - I will have a night full to the brim of long, complicated, winding, detailed dreams.

Inevitably, my mother makes an appearance. If I'm lucky, it's brief. If not, she is a recurring character, coming in and out of the rooms of my dream all night long.

Sometimes I am enmeshed again with her, and we love each other, and this feels strange and concerning to me. Sometimes she is stalking me. Sometimes I tell her off, loudly, pointing my finger and knitting my brow and really laying into her, listing her sins, holding her accountable.

Often I don't remember what happened in the dream when I wake up, but have a troubled feeling for the rest of the day. I know that the feeling has something to do with her, but I don't know what to do with the feeling.

I once read that premenstrual women have longer dreams with more female characters and more conflict. My question is: why? I already know that I have mommy issues, so what am I supposed to do with these dreams?  And is there any way to make them go away?

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