tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4061406078687282740.post5239810983814328872..comments2023-05-20T05:37:52.648-04:00Comments on ACONography: individualClairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574418702880244921noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4061406078687282740.post-44377917691687994942012-07-18T18:16:11.521-04:002012-07-18T18:16:11.521-04:00I love this post, Claire. How wise you are becomin...I love this post, Claire. How wise you are becoming. Why say "no" about things of no or little consequence? I think letting him use daytime clothes as pajamas, and such like, is also a good way to nurture creativity. Letting kids figure out how to do things differently gives them a stake in outcomes. I think it's a loving thing to do.Calibans Sisterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04817489284771105048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4061406078687282740.post-66215710088318294332012-07-18T16:28:45.258-04:002012-07-18T16:28:45.258-04:00Awww, thanks TW and Bess! I hope that when my kids...Awww, thanks TW and Bess! I hope that when my kids grow up, that they feel like I'm a good, nurturing part of their lives. Goodness knows I mess up plenty of times - I just hope the balance is good!<br /><br />Anna, I think it's hard for many men, especially those brought up in homes where gender norms were rigidly defined, to accept any kind of variety in the actions that their children take. I know a man who grew up in a Hispanic community with very "traditional" gender roles, and he is married to a woman who is much more liberal in her views. It's incredibly hard for him to see things like his son playing with a kitchen set, or watching a cartoon that he thinks is "for girls." His wife doesn't want to squelch her son, but also wants to keep the marital peace. Recently they had a breakthrough - he wouldn't get the "girly" cartoon for his son to watch...but the son figured out how to get it on his own, and watched it secretly, and then lied about it. The father realized that his son felt ashamed to be watching a show he really enjoyed, and that he had to lie to his dad. This made a huge impact on the father, who has since decided that a cartoon that brings his son joy is not really a threat. I'm so happy for his son, and for him!Clairehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05574418702880244921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4061406078687282740.post-59612263373663844212012-07-18T13:19:02.528-04:002012-07-18T13:19:02.528-04:00This is something I have noticed that my SO (who i...This is something I have noticed that my SO (who is no longer in contact with his NM) struggles with as well. There are certain things he absolutely will not budge on (such as "gender-appropriate" behavior; he is South American, after all) but most of the time, I can talk him into accepting our children's desire for individuality, or he talks himself into it. This post has helped me to understand my husband's motivations better. Thank you.Annahttp://annaisalive.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4061406078687282740.post-57912005697212182152012-07-18T10:52:35.562-04:002012-07-18T10:52:35.562-04:00You sound like a great mom! I wish you had been my...You sound like a great mom! I wish you had been my mom, too.Besshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08211150594109190701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4061406078687282740.post-25307365396364872702012-07-18T10:02:16.734-04:002012-07-18T10:02:16.734-04:00What a great, common sense approach. Really, does ...What a great, common sense approach. Really, does it matter what we wear to bed??!<br />I also was very restricted as an adolescent. When I left for university at 16 I was totally unprepared for the world "out there." "No" was ALWAYS my Psychob's answer to anything-before I could even get the request out of my mouth. BTW, that's a great way to make sure your kid never bothers to ask for anything-and not just material stuff by any means: Questions about the world, how it worked etc. were foreclosed.<br />I sure wish you had been my mom.<br />TWTundra Womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12262066568878267648noreply@blogger.com